The world in my head

Remember several months ago when I wrote about moving into Middlebrook? Lol.  I remember telling people to form their own opinions about me rather than form them by reading my blog.  Well, that was a touch unnecessary.  I’m pretty sure I left lots of wonderful impressions here, possibly just as vivid as reading this blog from hell.

I am still not depression or anxiety, but they coexist with my personality just as they did before I moved to Minneapolis.  As I enter my last week in Minneapolis, I reflect constantly.  I saw moving to a new location and starting a new chapter in my life would clear the negativity away, and I would again see the light.  Unfortunately, my life is not a collection of short stories, so a new chapter does not start a new story; it simply builds on the previous chapter.  Leaving Middlebrook, I am once again in a deep state of depression, switching medicines, and filled with anxiety, as if the first two weren’t enough to brew a perfect storm.

Here’s to the future.  Please don’t be a bitch.

I need to start taking my klonopin more often. This is the first time in at least a week that I’ve taken it, and I already feel so much better. I’ve been having a couple drinks in the evening instead of klonopin, but nothing works better than my prescriptuons

sail

Yep. Get over it.

I feel so at home in Minneapolis, but at the same time, I have never missed Duluth so much.  I miss Duluth mainly because of my friends who live there.  However much I love Minneapolis, I miss my people in Duluth equally much.  What is the point of getting a college degree when you don’t feel happy?

It’s kinda nice to go home to your parents and not be instantly placed under house arrest.  Support is propping me up so I can stretch upwards, not propping me up just to enclose me.  How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes if you fix them for me?  How am I supposed to learn to hug myself if you bind my arms?

(Source: coffins-aintshit-tillyou-die)